Holidays have a way of bringing everyone together—parents, grandparents, adult children, and sometimes even great‑grandchildren. Between the shared meals, familiar stories, and cherished traditions, these moments remind us of the deep connections that anchor a family. They’re warm, emotional, and rare. And because of that, they’re also a natural opportunity to gently talk about the future—especially when it comes to estate planning.
It’s normal for these conversations to feel uncomfortable at first. But with nearly 55% of U.S. adults lacking a will or estate plan, and probate often consuming 3–7% of an estate’s value, a little clarity now can save a great deal of confusion and heartache later. Estate planning isn’t about money—it’s about control, clarity, care, efficiency, and legacy.
Questions Adult Children Can Ask Their Parents
Asking thoughtful, respectful questions can prevent future stress and ensure wishes are honored. Here are some gentle prompts:
Do you have an up-to-date will or trust in place?
Who have you chosen to make financial and medical decisions if you’re unable to?
Have you shared your wishes for medical care and end-of-life planning?
If something happened tomorrow, would we know where to find your important documents and accounts?
Are there heirlooms or traditions you’d like us to know the stories behind?
Do you feel confident that the people you’ve chosen to handle your affairs are still the right ones?
Questions Parents Can Ask Their Adult Children
Parents can just as easily spark meaningful conversations by helping younger generations think ahead:
Do you know where to find my important documents in case of an emergency?
Have you considered creating your own will or an estate plan?
If you received an inheritance tomorrow, would you know what to do with it — or who to turn to for help?
Are there family keepsakes or traditions you’d be heartbroken not to have carried forward?
If you had to step in to help us — financially or medically — what support would you need?
How to Bring Up These Topics Naturally
You don’t need to turn the holiday dinner into a formal meeting—far from it. These conversations often land best during quiet moments: a walk after dessert, a drive to pick someone up from the airport, or time spent cleaning up the kitchen together. The goal isn’t to finalize anything on the spot—it’s simply to open the door.
A Gift of Clarity and Love
Talking about estate planning now can prevent disputes, reduce unnecessary legal costs, and spare loved ones from emotional strain. More importantly, it ensures that traditions, values, and wishes are honored across generations. Framing estate planning as a gift—a way to protect and care for the people you love most—makes the conversation feel less daunting and more meaningful.
If you’re unsure where to start or want guidance on navigating these discussions, consider reaching out to a trusted advisor. A little clarity today can offer peace of mind for everyone at the table.
